10 Worst Perfumes and Fragrances

(yes – these are all real)

	1. Stilton Blue Cheese Perfume by Stilton . No. Just no.  I wouldn’t wear anything that might make people wonder if they should shake my hand, or dip their celery stick in me.
	2. Sex on the Beach Perfume by Demeter . For those of you who want to smell like a homeless hooker who does business on the Malibu shores.
	3. Money Cologne by LiquidMoney . I like the scent of a fresh stack of dollar bills as much as the next girl, but that doesn’t mean I want to walk around all day smelling like I just fucked Puff Daddy.
	4. Play Doh Cologne by Demeter . Great. For just $20 bucks, I can smell like an overcrowded playroom at a state-run daycare center.
	5. Sushi Cologne by Demeter . Who would intentionally want to smell like like low tide at the Jersey shore?
	6. Boys Are Smelly by David & Goliath . This is just gross. The manufacturer says it smells like the “soft, warm scent of worn leather – like a well worn saddle.” Yeah, a well worn saddle that has boogers all over it and has been farted on for 10 years, maybe. I’LL PASS ON THIS ONE.
	7. Burger King Flame Body Spray by BK . Burger King says it’s “the scent of seduction with just a hint of flame-broiled meat.” Sick. If you’re that turned on by the smell of beef, you’ve got problems and will probably wind up on A&E’s show Intervention.
	8. Funereal Home by Demeter . After all, what could be more pleasant to the senses than the subtle, lingering scent of gardenias and corpse?
	9. Chinatown by Bond No 9 . Finally! Someone captured the scent of grease, MSG, soy sauce, and 4 day old egg roll and put it in a bottle. Yummmmmy!
	10. Ashtray by Weird Fragrances . You know that old insult… “you smell like an ashtray!” Well now you literally CAN smell like an ashtray! Guys, just a few spritzes of this and the girls will be dropping at your feet like flies (but not in a good way).