Kristen Stewart’s Dating Site Profile

Kristen Stewart has announced that she’d cheated on Robert Pattinson with the director of Snow White And The Huntsman and issued an official statement about it on her website. That’s so thoroughly modern of her, and it raises a lot of questions. For example, people are wondering if this will have any effect on the performance of Breaking Dawn Pt. 2, set to be released later this year. I say who cares about industry economics. I say what about the true victims? What about the 13-year-old girls who looked up to Kristen Stewart and believed that they, too, might someday hook up with a vampire and have his baby? If Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson can’t keep it together, what sullen girl and girly vampire can?

The real question is just how did she end up seeing someone on the side? We’re not sure, but we refuse to rule out this mocked-up dating profile from a popular dating site.