7 Videos They Should Play At The MTV Video Music Awards But Probably Won’t

When I watch the MTV Music Awards, it seems as if the show is geared toward a bunch of retarded teenagers. Part of me wants to blame that on MTV. After all, 10-to-15 years ago, the quality was higher, right? Maybe, but 10-to-15 years ago, I was a retarded teenager, so chances are the only thing that’s changed is my perception, and the show has always been shit.

At any rate, rather than showing a bunch of stupid videos from assholes like Drake and Katy Perry, why not showcase the some real talent? Here are seven videos they should play at the VMA’s, but probably won’t.

Gangnam Style – PSY (Even Odds)

This has blown up to the point where there’s a good chance it will get some screen time. I’m not sure if that makes it more or less funny. I’m leaning toward less.

Call Me Maybe – Chatroulette Version (10 to 1 Odds)

There’s a 100% chance that Call Me Maybe will be featured at the VMA’s. After all, it’s nominated for an award. However, the odds of the far superior “Chatroulette Version” making it onto the show are much lower.

Hot Problems – Double Take (20 to 1 Odds)

This video is certainly stupid enough to make it onto the VMAs. But given the fact that it’s been out for so long, it will probably be passed over.

Jacking Off 2 U – Killa Karisma (50 to 1 Odds)

MTV has no problem with vulgarity, giving this song a reasonable shot. But much like Hot Problems, it might be past its expiration date, which is a shame. The world needs more songs about jerking off.

Selling Is Service: Work Training Video Hell – ? (500 to 1 Odds)

Take note, Kanye. This is how it’s done.

3 Second Rule – Lisa Gail Allred (1000 to 1 Odds)

Obviously, MTV skews toward a younger audience. That’s too bad. Lisa Gail Allred makes Rebecca Black look like a pile of puke.

This Weird Indian Song – ? (10000 to 1 Odds)

If this song gets played, chances are the show’s control room has been taken over by a group of Indian nationalists. Fingers crossed!