Yeah Flashback! Enrique Iglesias’s “Hero”
In this music video for his 2001 hit, “Hero,” Enrique takes an aimless road-trip with Jennifer Love Hewitt and shows us the DON’TS of being fiscally responsible. Let us examine:
0:04– Oh man, if I had a nickel for every time a guy whispered that into my ear…
0:19– Jennifer insisted on wearing only the biggest hoop-earrings available. You wouldn’t notice her in this video otherwise.
0:24– Enrique is rocking the “Elton John meets bro” look.
0:40– Important and necessary stop at an abandoned structure to stare into each others’ eyes.
0:52– Where the hell did that piano come from?!
1:02– Of course there is an unexplained piano in the abandoned building. This is f*cking Enrique.
1:09–You know it’s the “bad guy” in the movie when he slicks his hair back.
1:24– This is why we are in a recession.
1:56–Why does he only talk to her from behind/directly in her left ear?
2:02– Oh man, if I had a nickel for every time a guy rubbed a sh*t load of cash on my stomach…
2:07–Cosmo Position #3,456: “Money-Sex: Have sex on a big ass pile of money.”
Sex Break. The bridge.
2:26-2:47–Enrique has a contractual obligation to demonstrate his phenomenal make-out skills for at least 20 seconds in all of his videos.
2:35– Mickey: “Awww, I wanna make out with Jennifer Love Hewitt, too :( “
2:52– Mickey and fellow bad guys come to make out with Jennifer Love Hewitt, too.
3:04– That’s right. They had all that money-sex in a f*cking church…This is f*cking Enrique, people.
3:16– You just punched The Wrestler. THE Wrestler. You are officially the dumbest sexiest man alive.
3:35– Jennifer: “Noooo! Please! Don’t punch him in the MOLE!”
3:47– Enrique LIVES! I’m so glad he managed to escape… #EnriqueJokes
3:55–”Why the hell did we let all that money just unnecessarily fly out of the car?! That was so stupid! We are so f*cking stupid!”
4:00– Enrique still continues to sing while dying a slow, rainy death.
4:17– A total of 3 Cop cars. ZERO COPS. (Enrique was contractually obligated to be the only Hero in this music video.)