Justin Bieber vs. Aaron Carter: Music Video Feud Breakdown!

Yes, this is a ridiculous story but I’m writing about it anyway because it’s happening and I find the desperation in it both pathetic and amusing.

So here it is: Aaron Carter (the younger brother of the much more famous Nick Carter of  The Backstreet Boys), was once a young pop star like Justin Bieber (except with way less fans, way less hits, and way less feminine features.)  No one has given a sh*t about what he’s been up to until today, when he rose out of his coffin inside the Forgotten Child Stars Cemetery to complain via Twitter that Justin Bieber’s new music video for “Beauty and the Beat” is a copy cat of his “Aaron’s Party”  music video:

So let’s break down both videos and decide if this complaint has any validation whatsoever.  Here’s Justin Bieber’s “Beauty and the Beat” video:

• Premise: This is fake film footage taken from Justin Bieber’s personal computer.  Looks very intimate.  Oops, just kidding! It’s a music video!  And his ego needs you to know that HE’S THE DIRECTOR, TOO.  BECAUSE HE CAN DO ANYTHING, OK!
• Girls in bikinis, bikinis everywhere.  Hipster girls in bikinis dancing professionally choreographed dance moves everywhere. But they all look 18+.
• This is at a water park. He’s getting all artsy on his fans.
• Justin sings underwater.  There are cameras underwater that show footage of Justin singing.  Water seems obsessed with Justin.  F*CK! Bieber Fever has infiltrated the WATER SUPPLY.
• Nicki Minaj has an annoying rap break, but I’m too distracted by her fluffy pom-pom boobs to even notice her lips move.
• Bieber goes down a water-slide and everyone is losing their f*cking minds.  Like he’s the first man to ever go down a water-slide.  Like he’s the goddamn Felix Baumgartner of water-sliding.

Now let’s break down Aaron Carter’s music video:

• Premise: Carter is throwing the party of the year.  But first, he’s gotta get mommy and daddy to go bye-bye.
• Carter’s fine ladies are 12-yr-old little girls who are not professional dancers, and seem mostly uncomfortable.
• He’s dressed like a pimp, in a really awkward and kinda racist-y move.
• Really awkward (and kinda racist-y) moment when a creepily older gentleman (who just happens to be black), crashes the party of the 12-yr-olds.  Although Aaron is not down with it, he takes no action to rid the party of the pedophile and simply accepts his presence.
• Aaron proceeds to get upset that someone spilled juice on his parents’ fine cushions from France.
• I actually can’t keep watching this I’m getting too irritated at all this terrible pop music.

Conclusion: Two fame-and-fortune hungry male pop stars made music videos.   Each ensured that theirs was the only face actually featured in the video*, while a sh*t load of extras pretended to have a good time in the background.  SO YES. THEY ARE IDENTICAL.

And let’s not forget, that Aaron Carter once cheated on Hilary Duff with Lyndsey Lohan. And that’s hilarious.

*Nicki Minaj doesn’t count as having her face featured in the Bieber video, because her  face went unnoticed while her fluffy pom-pom boobs took center stage.