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Home » bestofph, lists, MOVIES

Top 10 Corniest Romantic Movie Lines

Published on: May 22, 2010 – 12:18 am by Jillian Madison Comment

1. Hope Floats – Harry Connick Jr
“Dancing is just a conversation between two people. Talk to me.”
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Very well, Harry. I’m sticking up my middle finger and doing the electric slide on your favorite vintage t-shirt. If you need help translating, that’s just my way of saying “you’re a corny bitch.”
2. As Good As It Gets – Greg Kinnear
“You’re why cavemen chiseled on walls.”
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Please. Upon hearing that line, the caveman would have traded in his chisel for a NOOSE.
3. Notting Hill – Julia Roberts
“I’m… just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.”
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Look, honey. Leave the losery line at home next to your favorite pillow with the angel embroidered on it – and try standing in front of the boy with a pizza and a 6 pack of beer instead. Good luck with that.
4. Keeping The Faith – Ben Stiller
“God was showing off when he made you.”
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Who wrote this line? JC Chasez of NSYNC? God clearly wasn’t showing off here. He was showing off when he created Sanjaya’s hair.
5. A Good Year – Russell Crowe
“Pardon my lips. They find joy in the most unusual places.”
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Where’s that? On your blow-up doll’s left breast, you huge tool?
6. Love Story – Ali MacGraw
“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”
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This is bullshit. Love means ALWAYS having to say you’re sorry. It also means enduring holiday parties with people you can’t stand, and pretending to enjoy giving back rubs.
7. Ghost – Demi Moore/Patrick Swayze
“I love you.” “Ditto.”
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DITTO? What the fuck is that? It’s not a reply, it’s a piece of punctuation. If I ever told someone I loved them, and they replied with DITTO, the relationship would be over faster than Madonna could deny she went through menopause.
8. Star Wars: Episode III – Natalie Portman
“Hold me like you did by the lake on Naboo.”
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Too bad he didn’t DROWN HER on the lake at Naboo to spare us all from one of the worst movie lines of all time.
9. The English Patient – Ralph Fiennes
“Swoon. I’ll catch you.”
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I wouldn’t trust his puny biceps to catch anything, let alone Juliette Binoche’s 85-pound body, that’s for sure.
10. Jerry McGuire – Tom Cruise
“YOU… COMPLETE… ME.”
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This might just be the single worst movie line of all time. It’s corny to the power of infinity. And by the way, in the real world, this line is only uttered by drunk fraternity boys hoping to get lucky, and Hannibal Lecter right before he kills you and fashions a facial mask out of your skin.

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  1. Spatuler
    May 22nd, 2010

    Here’s one from A Walk To Remember: “Our love is like the wind, I can’t see it….but I can feel it.” Well, my last experience at an Indian restaurant was exactly like their love. (Found that quote on the internet, never actually saw the movie).

  2. Lucas
    May 22nd, 2010

    Pretty sure that’s been posted on this site before…or am I going crazy?

  3. BCA
    May 22nd, 2010

    It HAS been posted before, but no matter. Now I won’t have to search for it until it’s off the front page again.

  4. dk23
    May 23rd, 2010

    Yes, best of PH posts will once and a while be featured again Lucas

  5. Emily
    May 23rd, 2010

    I have actually seen shirts that say “when god made me, he was showing off!” I have yet to see someone actually wear it.

    Also, I’m so glad Sanjaya is still relevant.

  6. Dawson
    May 25th, 2010

    Had me in tears!

  7. Lydia
    June 2nd, 2010

    From what I’ve heard about Ralph Fiennes, he’d have NO problems catching any swooning woman with a different body part.(yeah, I know… scrub it away with bleach) They had to edit Red Dragon multiple times (when he’s walking down the stairs naked?) because the women in the “test audience” were so busy oohing and aahing you couldn’t hear the f’ing movie.

    I have never seen As Good As It Gets, or heard that HORRIBLE line. And THAT is as good as it gets.

    Jerry Maguire also rocked, “You had me at Hello”. That whole movie was just one big shitstorm of bad lines. “Show me the money” “Help me help you!”. Good God Almighty.
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116695/quotes
    I don’t recall how I even sat through that….

  8. Tabitha
    January 9th, 2011

    “You had me at hello” was worse

  9. justme
    January 12th, 2011

    how aqbout that line from City of Angels, where nicolas cage says “waht does that taste like?”, and the lady (meg ryan?)says “you’ve never tasted a pear?”, and he says “I want to know what it tastes like… to you.” I always thought that one was stupid. especially when my x-bf tried it.

  10. Jim
    January 13th, 2011

    What about in ‘Letters to Juliet’ where the guy falls off a balcony and the girl goes over to him and is like ‘Can you move?’ and he says ‘Only my lips.’

    What the everloving fuck were the scriptwriters smoking?

  11. Spam
    March 24th, 2011

    It wasn’t Juliette Binoche he was telling that to, it was Kristen Scott Thomas.

  12. A
    August 30th, 2011

    Okay what’s funny about this is that Ralph Fiennes plays Voldemort in Harry Potter

  13. 24
    September 10th, 2011

    #5 has got to be the worst.

  14. apenpaap
    September 21st, 2011

    That Star Wars line is not that bad. Really, from all the hilariously awful lines in Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith, you chose that one?

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