Beyonce Made a $50 Million (subliminal messaging) Deal with Pepsi

Posted by Georgie on December 10, 2012

The 30-year-old superstar has been named as Pepsi’s ambassador.

According to inquisitr.com: “As well as the usual billboard adverts and featuring on a limited-edition line of co-created soda cans, Pepsi’s deal will penetrate into Beyonce’s music empire and include projects that have no ‘explicit connection to Pepsi Products.’”

But what does it mean?

IT MEANS GET READY FOR SUBLIMINAL pepsi MESSAGING IN BEYONCE’S pepsi ALBUM IN 2013.

When her new pepsi album debuts…just pay attention to how you feel when the music plays.

You’ll be listening to her new tunes in your car, belting it out at a stop light, feeling like a powerful, confident woman, when suddenly….

YOU ARE OVERCOME WITH THE MOST POWERFUL THIRST! BUT NOT JUST ANY THIRST…

You suddenly notice this pepsi truck not far from you and you realize–IT’S A SIGN FROM GOD. You must have a Pepsi. You must have it now, or you will surely DIE….

You turn up the music and search for one of these babies:

The music is getting louder. Your palms are sweating. Where were you headed in the first place? Your mom’s house? She can wait for you to arrive. She wouldn’t understand. She never has Pepsi at her house. She’s actually an evil, horrible woman and you hate her. You’ve just realized you hate your own mother because her fridge always looks like this:

It might as well be poop in your Devil mother’s fridge. But you have to stop hating your mom for a second because all you can think about is

Slow down! YOU’RE DRIVING TOO FAST! Where is the Pepsi? Where is it? What’s happening? Is that cat over there drinking a diet Mountain Dew? Diet Mountain Dew actually sucks.