Beyonce Made a $50 Million (subliminal messaging) Deal with Pepsi
Posted by Georgie on December 10, 2012
The 30-year-old superstar has been named as Pepsi’s ambassador.
According to inquisitr.com: “As well as the usual billboard adverts and featuring on a limited-edition line of co-created soda cans, Pepsi’s deal will penetrate into Beyonce’s music empire and include projects that have no ‘explicit connection to Pepsi Products.’”
But what does it mean?
IT MEANS GET READY FOR SUBLIMINAL pepsi MESSAGING IN BEYONCE’S pepsi ALBUM IN 2013.
When her new pepsi album debuts…just pay attention to how you feel when the music plays.
You’ll be listening to her new tunes in your car, belting it out at a stop light, feeling like a powerful, confident woman, when suddenly….
YOU ARE OVERCOME WITH THE MOST POWERFUL THIRST! BUT NOT JUST ANY THIRST…
You suddenly notice this pepsi truck not far from you and you realize–IT’S A SIGN FROM GOD. You must have a Pepsi. You must have it now, or you will surely DIE….
You turn up the music and search for one of these babies:
The music is getting louder. Your palms are sweating. Where were you headed in the first place? Your mom’s house? She can wait for you to arrive. She wouldn’t understand. She never has Pepsi at her house. She’s actually an evil, horrible woman and you hate her. You’ve just realized you hate your own mother because her fridge always looks like this:
It might as well be poop in your Devil mother’s fridge. But you have to stop hating your mom for a second because all you can think about is
Slow down! YOU’RE DRIVING TOO FAST! Where is the Pepsi? Where is it? What’s happening? Is that cat over there drinking a diet Mountain Dew? Diet Mountain Dew actually sucks.
WAIT NO IT DOESN’T. EVERY PEPSI PRODUCT IS DELICIOUS. *Slaps self in face*
Wait, is that a 7 Eleven over there? Hells yes it is!
You grab the Pepsi off the shelf and buy it with your hard-earned pepsi money. You did it. It’s in your mouth now.
And you realize that this is happiness. This moment, this beverage, is pure joy:
This. This is your dog.
These. These are your brothers.
That. That is Katherine McPhee.
You. This is You.
This. This is Harry Styles. You are forever connected to him now. Not that you cared before, but you do now.
Your favorite artist. Your favorite drink. Together as one…
Why Yes, Yes I am.
And that is why Pepsi is going to pay Beyonce $50 Million.