How to Celebrate National Soup Month
January is apparently National Soup Month! Which is great, because I didn’t know that January had “a thing.” It makes sense, because all of the other months have a thing, right?
So why soup, you ask? I don’t really know. But from what I can deduce..
1. In most places in January in America it’s quite chilly, and soup is the number one cure for chilly-ness.
2. Single people seek the comfort and warmth of a nice bowl of soup frequently throughout this month, because Winter (aka: Valentine’s Day), is Coming.
I’ve never celebrated National Soup Month, but here’s my thoughts on how it should be done:
Find the right bowl for you. Do you like to eat a lot of soup, or a little soup? Are you one of those people who like to drink soup out of a mug? That’s so weird, it doesn’t even count as food if you do that. But I won’t judge how you celebrate your Soup Month, so mug-away! Think of your bowl as the Christmas Tree of this holiday.
If you’re a rich kid, you can get a golden bowl like this one. As long as you still remember, you are still alone.
Choose your soups. Now, this is an entire month dedicated to soup, so bring some variety into your life! One day, have a good old fashioned straight-outta-the-can bowl of Tomato Bisque. Another day, make your own Chicken Noodle from scratch! Just don’t forget, no matter how much effort you put in to making your delicious soup, you are still going to be single come February.
If you have all the time in the world to dedicate to your soup because no one loves you, try out this bean and kale soup recipe from Pinterest.
Grab your favorite, most softest, most cuddly blanket and/or onesie pajamas. If you’re truly desperate and alone most nights, I’d recommend also grabbing a Snuggie. Because no one will see you in it anyway, and the arms make it easier to eat soup. Think of the Snuggie as this the flag of this holiday. It makes sense.
Don’t forget: You and this dog share the same amount of self-esteem.
While you’re waiting and watching your soup to heat up, play this song. It’s an accurate mirror to your emotions. It’s also pretty soup-y.
Now that the soup is ready, sit down in your blankety self in the most comfortable spot in the house. Or if you’re feeling like really celebrating this holiday the way it was meant to, I recommend a corner. Just sit in an empty corner and try not to cry into your bowl of soup–unless it could use a pinch of salt.
At this point, you should be feeling incredibly sorry for yourself and pathetically lonely. This means you’re ready to eat your soup.
Now dip your spoon into that delicious, slightly steaming bowl of creamy, salty, broth-y, chunky goodness, and take that first slurp…HARK! WHAT IS THIS? SUDDENLY THE WORLD BECOMES A MAGICAL PLACE! A PLACE WITH…
And DAT GRIN!
And you’re all like yeah! This soup is f***ing DELICIOUS!
Soup: The cure for loneliness and the common cold! Happy National Soup Month!
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