2013 Razzie Nominations: Who Got SNUBBED??
Aw, yes, the Razzies! A wonderful award for the worst in EVERYTHING film related. The nominees are OUT! Here is the list:
Worst Picture:
Battleship
The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure
That’s My Boy
A Thousand Words
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2
Worst Director:
Tyler Perry, Good Deeds/Madea’s Witness Protection
Sean Anders, That’s My Boy
Peter Berg, Battleship
Bill Condon, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2
Tyler Perry, Good Deeds/Madea’s Witness Protection
John Putch, Atlas Shrugged: Part 2
Worst Actor:
Nicolas Cage, Ghost Rider, Spirit of Vengeance/Seeking Justice
Eddie Murphy, A Thousand Words
Robert Pattinson, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2
Tyler Perry, Alex Cross/Good Deeds
Adam Sandler, That’s My Boy
Worst Actress:
Kristen Stewart, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2/Snow White and the Huntsman
Katherine Heigl, One for the Money
Milla Jovovich, Resident Evil: Retribution
Tyler Perry, Madea’s Witness Protection
Barbra Streisand, The Guilt Trip
Worst Supporting Actor:
Taylor Lautner, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2
David Hasselhoff, Piranha 3DD
Liam Neeson, Battleship/Wrath of the Titans
Nick Swardson, That’s My Boy
Vanilla Ice, That’s My Boy
Worst Supporting Actress:
Rihanna, Battleship
Jessica Biel, Playing for Keeps/Total Recall
Brooklyn Decker: Battleship/What to Expect When You’re Expecting
Ashley Greene, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2
Jennifer Lopez, What to Expect When You’re Expecting
Rihanna, Battleship
Worst Ensemble:
Battleship
The Oogieloves in the Balloon Adventure
That’s My Boy
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2
Madea’s Witness Protection
Worst Remake/Rip off/Sequel:
Madea’s Witness Protection
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
Piranha 3DD
Red Dawn
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2
Worst Screenplay:
That’s My Boy
Atlas Shrugged: Part 2
Battleship
A Thousand Words
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2
Worst Screen Couple:
Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2
Any two cast members from The Jersey Shore, The Three Stooges
Mackenzie Foy and Taylor Lautner, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2
Tyler Perry and his drag, Madea’s Witness Protection
Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg, Leighton Meester or Susan Sarandon, That’s My Boy
So as you can see, the Razzie Awards are JUST like the Oscars, in that every year there are always at least a few snubs! So here’s who we think deserves to feel worthless/untalented enough to be in one of these categories with Kristen Stewart:
Worst Picture Snubs:
I Kissed a Vampire: The Rock Musical. (We didn’t see it. We just know.)
The Babymakers. (Misleading title. Wasn’t like any porn I’ve ever seen.)
The Devil Inside. (It ended mid-car-crash. The movie was a literal car crash.)
Worst Director Snubs:
Rupert Sanders, for directing Kristen Stewart to **** his ***** in her ***.
Worst Actor Snub:
Daniel Day Lewis, for playing “Tyler Perry in drag” in Madea’s Witness Protection.
The Devil, for playing “The Devil” in The Devil Inside. (He always plays himself.)
Worst Actress Snub:
Katy Perry, as “Katy Perry” in Katy Perry: Part of Me.
Worst Supporting Actor Snub:
The Piranha, in Piranha 3DD.
Worst Supporting Actress Snub:
Daniel Day Lewis, as Whitney Houston’s postmortem pick up shots in Sparkle. (He can’t be perfect, I guess.)
Worst Ensemble Snub:
Navy Uniform, worn by Rihanna in Battleship. (Did nothing for her curves and really distracted from her excruciatingly bad performance.)
Worst Remake/Rip Off/Sequel Snub:
Titanic 3DD- Sequel to Titanic: How James Cameron Became Filthy F***ing Rich. (The floating wooden door is 3 times the size it was in the original, and JACK STILL DROWNS!! WTF?)
Lincoln– Sequel to Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Slayer. (Not even a single vampire, and the main character died at the end, so forget getting excited about Lincoln III.)
This is 40– Sequel to This is 39. (Which we didn’t see, but it couldn’t have been as bad as This is 40.)
*Also snubbed for a nomination for the worst fondling of Megan Fox’s breasts, ever.
Worst Screenplay Snub:
Kristen Stewart’s Apology, written for Robert Pattinson for going **** on Rupert Sander’s *** **** in her ***.
Here is the Original Screenplay:
“I’m deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment I’ve caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected. This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I’m so sorry.”
Worst Screen Couple Snub:
Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Joaquin Phoenix, for their on-again/off-again bromance in The Master. As one critic put it, “How did they manage to have a relationship that couldn’t have been gayer but totally should’ve been gayer?” (Note: Rumors indicate that Seymour Hoffman’s, “pinkness,” may have gotten in the way of their chemistry.)
Phillip: “I want to be the Jake Gyllenhaal to your Heath Ledger.”
Joaquin: “Why are you so pink?”
Well that’s it for our snubs, but you do YOU think deserves a Razzie Nomination for one/all of these categories? Let us know in the comments below!