5 Other Ailments Ashton Kutcher Got Through Acting

We learned recently that Ashton Kutcher was hospitalized for adopting Steve Jobs’s fruititarian diet as he leapt feet-first into his dream role in  the biopic, jOBS. This isn’t the first time Kutcher has been victimized by his own ambition. Research and preparation for some of his other roles have been major bummers for Ashton. Here are some of the lesser known problems he’s encountered:

Dude Where’s My Car – Slight Brain Damage. Ashton Kutcher got so deep into the role of Jesse Montgomery III that he actually lost 16 IQ points, which he never managed to find.

• That 70’s Show – Disco Fever. Few people are aware that disco fever is actually a rash across the crotch that comes from wearing tight polyester pants. It was eradicated by the mid-80’s with the adoption of 100% cotton Dockers.

• The Butterfly Effect – Mental jet lag from time travel, from which Kutcher is still slowly recovering.

• What Happens In Vegas – He can’t really talk about it, but we’re sure it’s nothing a little penicillin can’t help.

• Guess Who – Colorblindness. It wouldn’t have been so bad if he wouldn’t have gone around saying “I’m sorry. I guess I just don’t see color” anytime race was brought up over the next year.