10 Signs Your Valentine Might Be a Serial Killer
1. They play the same song on repeat. All of the time. *The more upbeat the song, the more people they’ve murdered.*
2. They prefer pizza that has gone cold and then been reheated.
3. They don’t wince when those Sarah McLachlan ASPCA commercials come on.
4. They don’t want you to watch Unsolved Mysteries.
Wasn’t the last girl your guy dated named “Judy” ?????
5. They like to dance wearing a rain coat while holding an ax.
6. They don’t think OJ did it. *Because it’s their glove…*
Haven’t you noticed his tiny hands?!
7. They enjoy smelling your hair in a very, very serious way.
8. They never talk about their past, yet they obviously have very lucid flashbacks like, all of the time.
9. They separate all of their foods and eat them one at a time counter-clockwise, and then chew too slowly when they do.
10. They casually say things like this:
BUT HEY! Valentine’s Day is soooooo close, so why not wait a little longer to see if they get you a present before you flee the country?!
Follow the editor on Twitter, and let her know if your man is more of a “Dahmer” or a “Manson” (A Quiz she wrote that Cosmo refuses to run):
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