Madonna Just Joined Instagram

Madonna recently joined Instagram, so finally we can all get a better picture of what this extremely private and reserved mom is really like behind closed doors…

 1. The first picture.  She’s already got the whole “take a picture of myself with some kind of food or beverage” thing down.  However, someone needs to show her how to use those #filters to get rid of the redness around her eyes, because rather than saying, “Hey! I’m Madonna! I like to drink and have fun!” this pic says, “Hey! I’m Madonna and I eat SOULS.”

2. The second picture. I want her to close her mouth.  It would be so much less creepy if she closed her mouth.   Also, it could use 50% more face and 50% less breasts to feel a bit more balanced.    But mostly someone needs to tell her to close her mouth, because rather than saying, “Hey! I’m Madonna and I like to stay active!” this pic says, “Hey! I’m Madonna and what do you think is more distracting? My sweaty cleavage or my “O-face” mouth?!”

I wonder if she expects us to read the descriptions in a British accent?