Reality Pitches: Country-Fried Catfish

If there are two things that the country is into more than Catfish and country bumpkins—I mean hillbillies, sorry– I don’t know what they are. Catfish is, of course, the MTV reality show that features people who fall in love, online, with people they don’t know and are surprised to find out the objects of their affection are not who they say they were. It’s easy to sympathize. I mean, if you fell in love with a part-time model, part-time scientist who looked suspiciously like a slightly Photoshopped version of Heidi Klum (when she was young), you’d be especially shocked to find out they were, in reality, a part-time model railroad builder, part-time Scientologist who looked like a slightly Photoshopped version of Seal (when he was young). The hillbilly craze can be boiled down to four words. Honey Boo Boo Child. America can’t get enough of her or of any of the other rednecks being broadcast on cable each night. That brings me to our reality pitch of the week: Country-Fried Catfish.

HERE’S THE PITCH:

Each week, our host, Nev, finds some poor soul from deep in the Ozarks who has just gotten access to the Internet and is pursuing a relationship with someone they met online. Each episode ends with Nev consoling his subject and warning them that dating someone online is going to probably always lead to an unfortunate encounter with a cousin.

SAMPLE EPISODE:

ACT 1: Nev and Max wake up in their hotel room, and Nev begins trying on overalls as they discuss their subject. It turns out this week’s subject has just gotten into Myspace in a big way. Not the new Myspace, either; they just keep logging into the old Myspace.

ACT 2: Nev and Max go to meet their subject, who makes them wait in awkward silence while the dial-up connects. Their subject explains his story to Nev and Max while his mom screams “Get off of the phone! I got a call coming!” It turns out that they share many of the same interests, but the other person spends so much time travelling around the world in her helicopter that she can’t come hang out with him.

ACT 3: Nev and Max ask sit their subject down and ask him repeatedly, “Are you sure this is not your cousin?” This lasts five minutes with them asking the question in every conceivable way possible.

ACT 4: Nev and Max sit down at their computers and begin their sleuthing. I mean Googling. That’s what they do. They Google. This show is essentially an hour of http://letmegooglethatforyou.com. They track down their subject’s love interest and arrange a meeting.

Riveting, right?

ACT 5: Nev, Max, and their subject await the arrival of the love interest. That person shows up, and it’s clear that the two know each other. Nev and Max pick up on that, and Nev asks, “Wait a minute… is this your cousin?!?!” Both nod, somewhat ashamed, but they agree to continue their relationship offline, no strings attached. Nev, then hands them discs for the show’s sponsor, AOL 4.0.

So, here’s the question. Would you watch this show? And what network should we pitch it to?