Reality Pitches: Toddlers & Timesheets
If there’s anything to be learned from the success of Toddlers & Tiaras and Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, it is that child exploitation is not only adorable but also one of the more popular forms of entertainment in America. That’s why with our next reality pitch, we’re looking to kick things up a notch and take entertaining exploitation to the next level. Let us introduce you to a little show we’re calling Toddlers & Timesheets. Now, before you write a letter to your local authorities, hear us out. We think you’re going to really like this show.
Toddlers & Timesheets is a look at the lighter side of child labor. It’s an hour-long adventure with the kids who make your favorite clothes and the parents who support them!
Here’s an example of what you can expect from Toddlers & Timesheets.
Act 1: Meet Malcolm! Malcolm is your typical hyperactive little tyke. He lives in a country we can’t pronounce, so we just call it Treetopolis. He toddles around his house, laughing and having fun. He yells a couple of his catchphrases like “My house! My rules!” and “I make the money around here.” Intercut with this introduction to Malcolm are interviews with his parents who shrug off his behavior and say “He does bring home the money around here.”
Act 2: Malcolm Gets Busy! Malcolm goes to work at his factory, and every time he begins to show off a little bit of the charismatic Malcolm we got to know before, his manager cracks the whip. Literally. His manager never strikes anyone because that would be wrong, but he does occasionally brandish the whip toward the kids. Whenever Malcolm gets tired, the manager brings him Gogo Juice and yells at him to get back to work.
Act 3: Malcolm Has Doubts! Back at home, Malcolm begins to express doubts about working in a sweatshop. He wonders whether he should not go to work and have fun with the other kids. “At the other factory?” asks his dad. His mom hugs him and tells him that she’s ready to support whatever decision he makes as long as he remembers that one of his decisions might result in the family having no income.
Act 4: Here Comes Honey Boo Boo! Honey Boo Boo shows up to cross promote the latest episode of her show and to give Malcolm some words of wisdom. “A dollar make me holler, Malcolm. A dollar make me holler.” And with that, he understands exactly what he must do. Malcolm returns to work.
Act 5: Malcolm Retires! It turns out public pressure in the west has forced the multinational corporation running Malcolm’s factory to take a closer look at the way the factory is being run. They’ve decided to withhold payment from the factory until the factory complies with international labor standards. As a result, Malcolm gets laid off and is finally able to play with his friends and ask for job recommendations at their factories.
So, that’s it. That’s the show! Would you watch this show? And which network should we pitch it to?