Drunk Texting, Explained by Chandler Bing

Posted by Georgie on May 6, 2014

Last night, because Cinco de Mayo, you had a few too many. And it was not a good time to have a few too many.  Because while you’re sober, you’re like this on the outside:

 

 

But on the inside, you’re actually like this…

 

 

You knew that mixing alcohol with these bottled up feelings was going to be a bad idea…

 

 

But during this transitional period, the balance of being emotionally responsible and the desire to have a swinging good time is a delicate one… Single + too much alcohol = nightmare.  Especially when you know you’re already a pretty ridiculous person, even when you’re sober:


 

But you did it anyway.  You got drunk, and you got the phone out.  You idiot.

 

This is how you went into it…convincing yourself that this is all going to be OK.  (It wasn’t.)

 

 

You started with the jokey texts to your friends, who knew you were drunk and were very entertained.

 

 

But by the end of the night, you told at least 3 people (and by people, I mean exes) something like this:
 

 

You were a bit dramatic, to say the least…

 

 

You woke up the next morning, and saw what you wrote.  It felt exactly like this:

 

 

 

And the feelings of shame, guilt, and self loathing came rising up like a tsunami.  Yeeeaaahhh, you should probably delete a few of those numbers.  You can’t take that shit back…

 

 

 

Why?  Why did you do that?  Whhhhyyyyyyy?  Because now all you can think is…

 

 

 

Because you feel like an idiot and you look like one to at least three people in a world of billions.  Right now, all you can do is find comfort in food…

 

 

So…who’s NOT going to let themselves have their phone near them the next time they decide to have a few drinks while they’re in a rather delicate/Cinco de Mayo state of mind?

 

 

 

Good.  That’s good.  Well done.

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