The 10 Greatest Things About Living Alone!
Posted by Georgie on July 9, 2013
1.You can tell your food out loud how wonderful and delicious it is. Most of your meals have higher self-esteem than you by the time you are done with them.
2.You can sing anything, anytime you like. And NOT just in the shower. Yesterday it was International Beyonce Day in your apartment.
3. You don’t have to compromise on what to watch. Cue 6 hours of Law and Order SVU.
4.No one to judge you on how much you eat. Or drink.
5. No one to come home from the gym and make you feel like a lazy asshole. You actually go yourself sometimes, but after 10 minutes on the treadmill you’re all like…
6. You can bring any sexy person you’d like home with you, without judgement or interruption from anyone else. Who are you kidding, you’re not bringing anyone back to this sardine can anytime soon.
7. You can dance if you want to, you can leave your cares behind. Which is what you do, every single night.
8. You can play dress up and have conversations with yourself in the mirror. Kind of like that serial killer guy in Silence of the Lambs.
9. You can play the same song on repeat for hours without anyone getting annoyed. You know, like a serial killer.
10. You can go out at midnight and drive around and around, contemplating the meaning of life, crying, etc., because no one is expecting you home and thus no one is wondering where you are. You’re basically a serial killer who doesn’t actually want to kill anybody, but has all the fun qualities of being an outcast of society.
11. You should get a boyfriend. Or a cat. Or at least a nice houseplant you can give a fun name to, like Stuart.
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