Henry Cavill and Kaley Cuoco Already Broke Up: Here’s Why!
E! News reported that Henry Cavill and Kaley Cuoco’s budding relationship ended as quickly as it began. From E!:
“Kaley Cuoco and Henry Cavill have split up, a source confirms exclusively to E! News. The attractive pair had only been outed as a couple barely two weeks ago, prompting a flurry of speculation as to just how long the Man of Steel star had been romancing the actress.”
Stars: They’re just like us! (In that they hook up and then realize that they “don’t want to get serious with anyone” a couple weeks later.)
Well, I’ve decided to examine all of their paparazzi pics to find out just what went wrong…
1. Henry got sick of Kaley’s (initially) playful, “I’m gonna bite your shoulder off like piece of meat!” routine. It was cute until she wouldn’t stop doing it, insisting that his triceps looked like delicious pieces of tri-tip. Things got weird.
“You smell like bacon and sex, my love…”
2. Long hikes lead to too many awkward silences. You can only ask a man, “So…what’s it like being Superman?” so many times before he snaps.
3. He did not find her, “Look! It’s a bird, it’s a plane…!” joke to be amusing. The 334th time she did it…
4. She made him carry all of the groceries. All of them. No,he doesn’t need the help. But that’s not the point. She didn’t even offer, man…
5. He saw this picture. Super
Man Uncomfortable. Un petit stalker-y.
6. They laughed together! That’s a good thing!
…until the awkward silence came back. “Sooo…you gonna do like, another Superman movie?”…
7. They just totally ran out of shit to talk about after a couple weeks, and thus the relationship hit a wall. It happens. *Cries*
Follow the editor on Twitter, @GeorgieGuinane, and if possible, please set her up with Henry Cavill. She will reward you handsomely in bacon if you do so.
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