The 7 Stages of Unrequited Love, as Told by Cats

Posted by Georgie on July 15, 2013

Step 1: Shock and Denial – “Look, just because she/he’s not giving me the time of day NOW, doesn’t mean I can’t make them fall in love with me eventually!  I just need to be more obvious about my feelings…”

 

Love me, you foolish creature!

 

Step 2: Pain and Grief – “Why?! Whyyyy doesn’t she/he love me?? Oh the hurts!  The hurts...”

 

 

Step 3: Anger and Bargaining – “I am going to go to the gym every day, and my hot bod will make it so they can’t NOT fall in love with me!  I will be irresistible, dammit!”

 

 

Step 4: Depression, Reflection, and Loneliness – “NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN THIS IN LOVE WITH ANYONE IN THE HISTORY OF SPACE AND TIME BEFORE!  OR THIS DISTRAUGHT ABOUT IT!  I’M SO ALOOOOONNNNEEEE!”

 

 

Step 5: The Upward Turn – “Food.  I still have food.

 

 

Step 6: Reconstruction and Working Through – “How many episodes of Law and Order do I have to watch before I forget the pain? 312?

 

 

Step 7: Acceptance and Finding Another Who Will Also Never Love You Back, But Will At Least Distract You – “You know what, I deserve someone who will love me baaahhh– who is THIS hunk of burning love?!

 

 

 

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