10 Adult Jokes in 90s Kids Shows That You Missed as a Kid
I don’t know about you, but I was a very innocent child growing up. I watched all of my favorite 90s cartoons completely oblivious to all of the dirty adult jokes that were been thrown into my face. From a suggestion of “fingering Prince” in the Animaniacs, to a joke about circumcision in the Rugrats, I can safely say that my childhood was being ruined without my even knowing it. Until now…
Please send my regards to your 90s innocence. I was sure I had lost mine somewhere in the middle of Joey and Pacey’s love affair in Dawson’s Creek, Season 3, but now I realize that it was actually about 2/3rds of the way into an episode of Rocko’s Modern Life! #Traumatizing
Here’s a ranking of 10 Dirty Adult Jokes in 90s Cartoon You Missed as a Kid:
10. The Toy Story “Hooker”
Sid mutilated so many toys into looking strange and scary, that I didn’t give it much thought as to what each of them “were” post-Sid-transformation. But putting a hook on top of some barbie leg is so obvious, you just can’t argue that it was an innocent accident. That thing represents a hooker, and don’t you dare try to tell me that that wasn’t your intention, Pixar.
9. Lonely Space Vixens
I’m afraid to look it up and see if any porn production company decided to actually make this into a porno.
8. Grandpa’s Penis-Shaped Face in “Hey Arnold!”
OH, COME ON! They aren’t even trying to be subtle about it…
7. Spongebob Watching Porn
Is it me, or wouldn’t the sports channel still be something to do with sports that take place in the cartoon-world that Spongebob lives in, under the sea? YOU’RE BEING FILTHY HUMAN BEINGS AND YOU ARE BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!!
6. Edd’s Special Note from His Parents
Ed, Edd, and Eddy wasn’t really my cup of tea. But that’s probably because I wasn’t a pre-pubescent boy who was starting to erm…”discover” things about himself…
“Don’t touch yourself.” Wow.
5. The Rugrats “Circumcision” Joke
I would have never gotten this joke, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay, Nickelodeon.
I have no words. Really. Except I’m glad I didn’t watch this episode of Rocko’s Modern Life with my parents in the room. Or if I did, I’d like to thank my brain for blocking that memory for me…
3. Rocko worked at a sex hotline.
I mean, I don’t even need to explain why this makes the top 3. At least one of his directions is to be courteous? That’s very important when it comes to sex of any kind, let alone paid phone sex, so I’m really glad these animators made sure that we were aware of this as early on in life as possible. Like, when we were SIX EFFING YEARS OLD.
2. Fingering Prince
I would have never gotten this joke as a child, and I really hope no other kids who watched the Animaniacs did. The guy who wrote this scene is a sick, sick person, who needs to not be working in the cartoons-for-kids business. As an adult I can appreciate a good pun, but even as an adult I find the idea of a cartoon Prince smiling at the prospect of getting fingered, and then being disappointed when that prospect is off the table, to be more than highly disturbing. You’re a sick, sick man, Animaniacs animator, and may god have mercy on your soul.
1. Ren and Stimpy having sex.
I never really watched Ren and Stimpy as a little girl, because even then I knew it was an extremely messed up show that would cause severe subliminal damage that I would never be able to erase in my adulthood. That, and I thought Ren was creepy as sh*t. I’m going to rank this scene as the #1 dirtiest adult joke in a 90s cartoon, because it’s just sex. It’s literally Ren and Stimpy having sex. There is no reason for Stimpy to be making that motion, or for him to be standing where he is. That is NOT how you saw wood, unless you know… you’re “sawing” “wood.” No one can ever convince me that this sex joke was made purely by accident, and that makes it the dirtiest adult joke in a 90s cartoon that I missed as a kid.
I need to find the person who approved of this going on the air. Like, for real. I need to know who wrote and animated this scene, and then looked their boss in the eye and said, “It is done.” (UPDATE: Apparently this one actually IS a parody. But I wouldn’t put it past those sick Nickelodeon folks…)
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