Stupid Slutty T-Shirts Must Die

Posted by Jillian Madison on August 28, 2009

Hi, I’m Jillian Madison, and I LOATHE corny sex t-shirts and the corny women who wear them. Let’s take a look at some of the biggest offenders:

women in stupid slutty t-shirts Saying: Vegans get their protein elsewhere.
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My Response: Oh! I get it! You’re trying to say you give a lot of blow jobs! You’re so clever, you semen-guzzling whore!
women in stupid slutty t-shirts Saying: I’m so good, I scream out my own name during sex!
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My Response: That’s because you’re probably having sex BY YOURSELF. (And by the way, your pink accessories are as hideous and cheap looking as your t-shirt.)
women in stupid slutty t-shirts Saying: Save a virgin, do me instead.
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My Response: Apparently, sluts still like the Comic Sans font. Who knew! Let’s take a minute to do some quick math: Odds of a virgin having an STD: 0%. Odds of this chick having an STD: 1,364%. Proceed with caution.
women in stupid slutty t-shirts Saying: Superslut.
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My Response: Hovering in the space where super subtle meets super classy!
women in stupid slutty t-shirts Saying: DJs make me horny.
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My Response: If Ryan Seacrest makes you weak in the knees, it’s probably time to close your legs and pick up a book.
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