The 8 Ugliest Painted Jean Jackets Of All Time

Posted by Jillian Madison on May 6, 2011

I’ve always hated AIRBRUSHED DENIM JACKETS. They’re tacky, they’re trashy, and they’re always hideous. Here’s eight of the ugliest denim creations I’ve ever seen in my life:

ugly painted airbrushed denim jean jacket DESCRIPTION: It’s an airbrushed cowboy jumping over a misplaced, swooping line of fringe. HOW CHARMING.
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HOW I WANT TO SEE IT DIE: Cut up into 1,000 tiny pieces, and then thrown from the top of a ferris wheel at Dollywood while “The Dance” by Garth Brooks played in the background.
ugly painted airbrushed denim jean jacket DESCRIPTION: A portrait of some random person from a million centuries ago. Gender: unknown.
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HOW I WANT TO SEE IT DIE: Burned to death in a kiln, next to all the shitty pottery bowls your art teacher made you create when you were in 4th grade.
ugly painted airbrushed denim jean jacket DESCRIPTION: Not totally sure, but I think it’s the Virgin Mary being swallowed by a giant floral vagina.
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HOW I WANT TO SEE IT DIE: Strapped to the side of the space shuttle, where all that day-glo paint would create a miraculous display on the way up.
ugly painted airbrushed denim jean jacket DESCRIPTION: I have no idea, so let’s just call it THE UGLIEST FUCKING THING EVER.
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HOW I WANT TO SEE IT DIE: Repeatedly run over by a freshly sharpened zamboni.

ugly painted airbrushed denim jean jacket DESCRIPTION: A singing doll dressed up like Stephanie Zinone during the Loni Kaye Lani luau in Grease 2.
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HOW I WANT TO SEE IT DIE: Forced to listen to John Tesh records until it spontaneously combusts.
ugly painted airbrushed denim jean jacket DESCRIPTION: A butterfly moments before it dive-bombs your head at a picnic.
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HOW I WANT TO SEE IT DIE: In a deep landfill, buried under piles of Jamie Lee’s empty Activia containers and Guy Fieri’s discarded hate mail.
ugly painted airbrushed denim jean jacket DESCRIPTION: A bulldog with a smoking/drooling problem, pictured above a completely unreadable word.Wait, does that say PRUDE?.
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HOW I WANT TO SEE IT DIE: Sucked up into a tornado, never to be heard from again. Buh-bye.
ugly painted airbrushed denim jean jacket DESCRIPTION: Duh! It’s Bridge Man… which is just code for “tacky jacket.”
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HOW I WANT TO SEE IT DIE: Pockets loaded up with rocks, flung off the top of the Golden Gate. Fitting, no?

[This was originally posted on Pophangover on September 10, 2009. We're reposting it today because we're on vacation this week. Enjoy!]

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