Dancing With The Irrelevant Stars: Fall 2010 Cast

Posted by Jillian Madison on August 31, 2010

Another year, another cheesy cast of Dancing With The Stars. Every year, I say they scrape the bottom of the barrel, but this year’s cast of “stars” really IS a new low. Here’s your first look:

Michael Bolton – He hasn’t had a hit song in decades, and he is completely irrelevant which makes him a perfect fit for the show. He released a song called “Murder My Heart” with Lady Gaga earlier this year, which unfortunately made everyone want to murder THEMSELVES.

Rick Fox - Los Angeles Lakers basketball player. Yawnnn.

David Hasselhoff – He’ll show up completely tanked, which might make his dances moderately entertaining.

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino – Nice to see he’s cashing in on his five minutes of fame, because by 2012, he’ll be working at McDonalds.

Kurt Warner – Blah, blah, blah, football player, blah blah blah.

Disney star Kyle Massey – We have no clue who the hell this guy is, but think it’s hilarious every news outlet is referring to him as “Disney star Kyle Massey.” That’s all I need to know to be bored to tears.

Bristol Palin – Oh, Sarah must be piiiiiissed. But this girl is a straight-up nobody. Why is she here?  Being an unwed teen mother constitutes “celebrity” now? This is a new low, even for the whores at ABC.

Jennifer Grey – She hasn’t done ANYTHING worth mentioning since Dirty Dancing. And yes, she’s still completely unrecognizable after that “nose job.”

Margaret Cho – WTF is she doing on this cast? Is she going to be able to perform onstage without making jokes about her mother? Only time will tell.

Audrina Patridge – One of the annoying dimwits from The Hills. And that’s pretty much it.

Brandy – Her music was good. In 1996.

Florence Henderson – CAROL BRADY is this season’s “token old person.”

The season starts on September 20, 2010.

facebook comment widget