The Most Interesting Part Of The Presidential Debate: THE AUDIENCE!
If you missed last night’s Presidential debate between Obama and McCain, let me sum it up for you in one word: BORING.
I feel like I spent 90 minutes in some sort of hypnotic state, oddly mesmerized by those damn colored lights on the floor. Other than McCain pointing at Obama and snidely referring to him as “that one,” and McCain saying “my friends” more often than a teen talking about her Myspace account, I can hardly remember anything else that was said.
Bottom line: the most interesting, entertaining part of the evening was the weird audience. Where the hell did they find these people? Did a Red Lobster “All You Can Eat” buffet just close outside the studio?
Here are my observations:
1. THE “BUG-EYED LADY IN BLUE”
Has she been clinically diagnosed with something? Or has she just been wandering around untreated all this time? She spent the entire night looking like she was repeatedly arriving at some surprise party going on in her head. And her mouth never changed expressions – not even for a second.
2. THE OLD GUYS
Wow. The only 2 guys in the joint older than John McCain. One of them is sleeping. The other one doesn’t know if he’s at the Playboy Mansion, or on the 50 yard line at a Packers game.
3. THE SKEPTICAL TEEN
That’s right, “my friend.” Be very skeptical of anything that comes out of the old guy’s mouth.
4. THE KID WITH THE HELMET HAIR
Could he even hear anything that was going on through that thing? It sure does look dense, doesn’t it?
5. THE BALD GUY SECTION
Did they really have to seat all the bald guys in one area? What the hell was that? The Telly Savalas appreciation section?
6. THE WOMAN WITH THE PENIS HEAD
Close your eyes. Envision a penis. And now stare at the top of this woman’s head and tell me I’m crazy.