The 8 Stupidest Food Advertising Slogans Of All Time

Posted by Jillian Madison on October 18, 2011

Hi. I’m Jillian Madison. And I think these are the 8 stupidest food and beverage slogans of all time:

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1. They’re not just alrighta, they’re Ore-Ida


Worst. Slogan. Ever. First, it’s not even grammatically correct. Second, it doesn’t even rhyme! Third, and most importantly, IT IS THE STUPIDEST THING I’VE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE. Note to Ore-Ida: face it, no English words rhyme with your brand. Remember that before you come up with your next stupid slogan, which I pray is not something like “Grab a side-a Ore-Ida.”
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2. Campbell’s Soup: Mmm mmm good


Mmm mmm good? That doesn’t even sound like a slogan. It sounds more like a grunting noise Cookie Monster would make upon hearing the Girl Scouts were in town. Besides, if the company wanted to be more honest, they’d just change their slogan to Mmm Mmm Salty and call it a day.
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3. Diet Coke: you are what you drink


Great, so if we drink your product, we’re aspartylphenylalanine, formaldehyde, and phosphoric acid. Do you really want to bring that to our attention? Stupid, stupid, stupid.
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4. M&Ms melt in your mouth, not in your hand


Honestly, I’ve never eaten an M&M that HASN’T melted in my hand. At what frigid place were these slogan writers standing? The north pole? Iceland? At the foot of Martha Stewart’s bed?
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5. Subway: Eat fresh.


If by “eat fresh” they mean “eat brown lettuce”, “shriveled tomatoes”, and “bread that almost always tastes stale even though it was supposedly just made,” then sure. That’s a great slogan. (And if the footlongs are only $5, why can’t I get out of there without spending $18 on a simple lunch for 2? Oh, that’s right, because it’s a gimmick. Nevermind.)
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6. The incredible edible egg


Let this be a note to all advertisers: just because words can be rhymed, doesn’t mean they should be. Obviously it’s edible. It’s an EGG. And let’s be honest: is it really that incredible? It comes from a chicken, not the tooth fairy.
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7. Carlsberg: Probably the best beer in the world


PROBABLY? If you’re not convinced, how the hell are we supposed to be?
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8. EVERY SLOGAN SMUCKERS EVER HAD


Congratulations to Smuckers for continually coming up with some of the worst slogans in the food industry:

“With a name like Smucker’s, it has to be good!”
Uh, not really. What an ignorant statement. It doesn’t have to be anything.

“If you find a better jelly, you buy it!”
I will! Thanks for giving me permission!

“The only brand of jams that can make a piece of bread lively!”
I don’t really want my bread to be lively, thankyouverymuch. I’m actually perfectly content with it just sitting there lifeless.

“Smucker’s may be yummy, your tummy may be too, but your grocer’s freezer, is not far from you!”
I rest my case.

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