What's your name?: Calista
What's your Email address?: RiceCakeGrrl@mcbeal.com
How'd you find us?: I went to the bathroom to throw up my dinner
and saw your web address scribbled on the wall
What's your biggest nightmare?: Not being able to squeeze my ass into my size 0 jeans.
Comments: This page is wonderful but I didn't like that "FRESHMEAT" section. Why don't you rethink
their name? How about "CARROT STIXX?" or "CELERY CRISP?" Bye!
2
What's your name?: Ricky Martin here, I'm LOOCCCAAA!
What's your Email address?: AllCheeeez@loca.com
How'd you find us?: I was sleeping with a groupie and she screamed out
"POPHANGOVER!"
What's your biggest nightmare?: No more leather pants :(
Comments: Hey, I love how you made fun of Enrique's mole. Let everyone know I'm
the #1 Latin Lover. I'm LOCA! LOOOOOOCCCAAAAA!
3
What's your name?: name withheld, BITCHES.
What's your Email address?: Cody@Cassidy.com
How'd you find us?: I walked in on Frank looking at your site in the nude, SKANKS.
What's your biggest nightmare?: it's already happened. Regis has taken the spotlight
off of me and my husband is banging a two bit whore. Somebody kill me now.
Comments: I can't stand this site. How dare you make fun of me. (PS - slip my number
to Crazy Fred - he was sexy.)
4
What's your name?: Martha Stewart
What's your Email address?: NudeCutie@gluegun.com
How'd you find us?: A true lady never reveals her source.
What's your biggest nightmare?: That my potted begonias won't survive this harsh Connecticut
winter
Comments: I know I say it a lot, but this time I really mean it: This page truly
IS a good thing. Gotta go, I'm throwing a gathering for 750 of my closest friends, and I still have 300 more cherry stem
and walnut napkin holders to prepare.
5
What's your name?: Conan calls me Little Elian
What's your Email address?: what that
How'd you find us?: Reno sent me
What's your biggest nightmare?: nudie reno
Comments: me want cuba - reno smells.
6
What's your name?: Darva
What's your Email address?: OnlySluts@MarryForMoney.com
How'd you find us?: Waaah, I can't answer this crap! I want my life back!
What's your biggest nightmare?: This media circus is ridiculous. I can't leave my house
without a reporter in my face. Go to hell, all of you!
Comments: ::sniff:: I have no privacy! When will it end? SHIT, I'm late for my
interview with Diane Sawyer, and then I'm set to appear on Hard Copy, 20/20, and pose nude for Playboy. Toodles!
7
What's your name?: Tori Spelling
What's your Email address?: HorseFace@DaddysGirl.com
How'd you find us?: I heard the name in passing down at the Peach Pit
What's your biggest nightmare?: Daddy takes away my credit card and won't let me
star in anymore made for TV movies
Comments: Good stuff, but why didn't you make fun of Ian Ziering? The kid's a total
LOSER. One time on the set, he went mental and bit my nose. The rumors of my nosejob are FALSE, it was Ian. IAN! IAN!
Gotta run, I have to go to the plastic surgeon to have him fix the giant mutant-sized crater I have sitting between my
fake boobs. I swear, you could lose a small farm animal in that thing. Later!
8
What's your name?: George W. Bush
What's your Email address?: LetItSnow@sniffffffff.com
How'd you find us?: Stumbled across the site while searching Yahoo! for the names
of foreign leaders. Can you believe they expect a president to know that stuff? Who cares.
What's your biggest nightmare?: Dad dies before he helps me get into the White House.
Comments: Al Gore poops in his pants. Oops, was I thinking out loud again? Vote for
me! GET BUSH in 2000.
9
What's your name?: Santa Claus
What's your Email address?: ElfLuvrr@northpole.com
How'd you find us?: I'm Santa. I know when you've been naughty.
What's your biggest nightmare?: Rudolph gets the flu on Christmas Eve again. Last
year was a bastardly nightmare, I had to cover the world on foot.
Comments: Ho ho ho. Can you believe John Claude Van Damme asked for ANOTHER penis enlarger
this year? I've brought him one every year since he was 12. And Rosie O'Donnell's been writing me asking for a man, but hey, I
can't pull off miracles of that magnitude. If I could, Mrs. Claus would have been history years ago. Bye bye.
10
What's your name?: Britney Spears
What's your Email address?: KillTheGenie@DitzesWithFakeTitzes.com
How'd you find us?: (giggle giggle)
What's your biggest nightmare?: actually having 2 sing LIVE, like, with people listening
2 me (giggle! tee hee hee!)
Comments: I feel guilty about taking hair from pretty little ponies just 2 put on my
head. I'm bored. Wanna come over and play in my new sandbox? I just had it installed with money I got from my tour.
Have your mommie call my mommie, k???
11
What's your name?: Jerry Seinfeld
What's your Email address?: I.Mean.Come.On@newman.com
How'd you find us?: The Soup Nazi recommended you
What's your biggest nightmare?: someone thinking I picked. There was NO PICK. NO PICK! I
am not an animal!
Comments: What is with that little hair that's always on the wall whenever you
use someone else's shower? I mean, come on! It's gross! You don't want to touch it, so you do that whole "cup your hand
and try to splash it down" thing. I mean, WHAT IS WITH THIS??