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MICHELLE: JENNIFER LOPEZ!
They just don’t come any more demanding and difficult than Jennifer Lopez.
In fact, MSN entertainment recently placed her #1 on their top 5 crankiest celebs list.
What an honor. Her latest outrageous demand:
“Jennifer requests an expensive perfume be sprayed before she enters each room.”
Guess something has to hide her stench.
And talk about a screwed up love life.
This girl has been down the aisle more times than your local movie theater's usher. Lopez even set a
5 million dollar fine on Ben Affleck “if he strays”, and a 1 million dollar fine for “lying.”
Frankly, I’ve never seen someone so proud of being from the Bronx.
Most people are like “Shit! I’m from the Bronx!” which is
understandable seeing as a trip I took to the Bronx zoo left me more scared
than this picture of Lopez before her 3 hour makeup and hair routine.
But maybe if Jenny spent more time “on the block” she would realize how excessive things
like her million dollar pink diamond ring are. Or perhaps getting your ass insured for
1 billion dollars is as typical for a Bronx girl as the overuse of hairspray.
In closing, this hairdo alone makes her worthy of winning this debate:
JILL: JENNOVER LOVE-HEWITT!
There is no one, and I mean NO ONE, on the planet who is more annoying to me than Jennifer Love Hewitt. I've
said it before and I'll say it again: I want nothing more than to shove her face in a juicer. I mean, come on.
Just look at her face. Something is clearly amiss. No one should ever look like they're constantly smelling an onion.
It's just not normal.
And, quite frankly, anyone who bears a striking resemblance to Paige Davis (one of the most annoying hosts on TV) deserves
to win this little debate.
Now, how about a nice little Jennifer Love Hewitt quote to warm your hearts? QUOTE: "I just accept them as a great accessory
to every outfit," (on her breasts). Yeah, her boobs are so hot. Didn't ya know people just love it when boobs are slammed together
like 2 Yugo's on the 409?
What the hell is she doing here?
Getting a mammogram?
Not only is she a crappy actress, but her singing is downright ATROCIOUS.
As if her last song "How Do I Deal" wasn't wretched enough, Jen has released a new tune called "Barenaked." The lyrics
are just fascinating: "Have you ever gone downstairs to start your, day but your car's not there?" No, bitch, I
haven't. I start my day by turning the radio on only to hear your heinous voice screeching at me like a gorilla in the
mist. Seriously, how LAME can her lyrics get? I thought people were supposed to be able to relate to music. What's next?
A song about how buoyant her body is whilst walking on Mars?
Wow, I wonder how this thing is played?
I don't know, because I have no talent.
Finally, EAT SOME GOD DAMNED FOOD. Call me crazy, but a shoulder is DEFINITELY not supposed to look like this:
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