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With so many options these days it's no wonder video game consumers are more confused than ever. Since I own all of the big three, I thought I'd break down some suggestions on which console is right for you.
Following this simple yes and no dialogue is easy, and fun!
The Wii
Yes if:
You can name every place Dora has ever explora'd
No if: You eat solid
food.
Yes if: You enjoy whimsically
waving your arms around like George Michael in a WHAM! video.
No if: You have
parkinsons.
Yes if: You own Mario Brothers
paraphernalia and are whacky.
No
if: Your name is Mario and you have whacked a
brother.
Yes if: You like casual
games.
No if: You like
casual sex.
The PS3
Yes if: You like your consoles
like you like your music, dark and heavy.
No if:
You have survived a plane crash. Impenetrable black boxes might prove to be scary.
Yes
if: You think Sony is just slang for the "second coming of
Christ".
No if: You've
seen Christ in a malshapened pancake.
Yes if: You find blu-ray movies
entertaining.
No if: You
are blind like blues entertainer Ray Charles.
Yes if:
You enjoy playing by yourself.
No
if: You enjoy playing with yourself. You could have spent
that $400 bucks on a life-size blow-up doll, what were you
thinking!
XBOX 360
Yes if: The only friends who
"really" understand you are online.
No if: You live in a mormon
conclave.
Yes if: You enjoy both vertical
and horizontal positions.
No
if: You think the dreaded "red rings" of death is just a
new STD.
Yes if: In High School you beat
up kids who looked like Bill Gates.
No if: When you grew up you
wanted to be Bill Gates.
Yes if: You are anti Mac, so
much so you won't even visit fast food's golden arches or listen to
Kris Kross. "Daddy Mac will make ya JUMP JUMP!" Sorry.
No if
: You own an i-phone, an i-toy, an i-mac, an i-pod and the film i-Robot on DVD.. just because it had the letter "i" in it. You i-diot!
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