|
EPISODE #307 - THE BOYS' TRIP
Another week, another 735 beers consumed by Nick Lachey.
Hooray! Just 3,000 more Miller Lite's to go until his belly's
flabby enough to get him a slot on next season's Celebrity Fit
Club.
This week,
Nick and his incredibly dorky friends, all rejected extras from the set of Revenge of the Nerds, vacationed in
Cabo San Lucas. Queue 10 minutes of them nursing
their margaritas and snorting like Beavis
and Butthead before deciding to give each other mohawks... just
to make doubly sure they won't get laid in
Mexico:
 The next day, the boys decided to go fishing.
Suddenly, they were surrounded by police boats and military dudes
with automatic machine guns. Did someone secretly replace
Nick's beer with a kilo of liquid cocaine? Did Queer Eye's Kyan
Douglas incite a citizens arrest for having bad hair? What a
nail biter!
Guns, sirens, and flashing lights, oh my! But as
it turned out, there was no Mexican prison in store for
the Tri-Lambs after all. They just needed... a FISHING LICENSE.
Yes, I'll take "Anti-Climactic Letdown" for $500, Alex.
With
their new licenses in hand, the boys were on their way. Moments
into their trip they saw something huge splashing around in the
water. No, it wasn't Ralphie May practicing his backstroke, but a
whale coming to the surface for air. Nick was especially excited,
not because he got to see a whale, but because he finally had the
perfect opportunity to pull down his pants and try out his
"Free Willy" joke.
The boys were frustrated because they weren't
catching any fish, presumably because Nick & Drew sent them
all into hiding by singing old 98 Degrees songs. After a few
more minutes, they DID manage to catch something. Unfortunately, it
wasn't a fish they dredged up from the bottom of the ocean, but
Britney Spears career. So that's where it wound
up.
The boys then had the need... the need for speed. Or, the
need to drive 20 mph in dunebuggys, anyway. Before being let
onto the race tracks, they had to sign a contract which was written
in Spanish. So unbeknownst to them, once they signed on the dotted
line, the boys had agreed to waive any liability for injury, to pay
for any damage to equipment, and to kidnap Enrique Iglasias.
Oops.
And that brought this week's
festivities to an end. Stay tuned next week, when Nick
kills more fish, and deafens a few innocent Mardi-Gras go'ers, while
recording his new album in Louisiana.
|
