• Name Ideas For New Oklahoma NBA Team

    Name Ideas For New Oklahoma NBA Team

    Posted by Jillian Madison on July 11, 2008

    The Seattle Sonics are headed to Oklahoma for the 2008-09 season! The team still remains nameless, so we thought we’d throw our suggestions into the ring. THE OKLAHOMEBOYZ Intimidating, menacing, and scary. They’ll beat you down, on and off the court. THE OKLAHOMA WELCOME MATS Because there’s just no place like ‘homa. THE OKLA-HMO’s They’ll [...]

  • Lindsay Lohan’s Leggings – Ugly AND Expensive

    Lindsay Lohan’s Leggings – Ugly AND Expensive

    Posted by Jillian Madison on July 11, 2008

    Lindsay Lohan is in the news again today. No, not because she was caught going down on Samantha Ronson outside a Taco Bell, but because today marks the day idiots of the world can shell out $100+ for a pair of her leggings. Leggings are nasty to begin with, but Lohan really outdid herself here. [...]

  • Free Slurpees on 7-11!

    Free Slurpees on 7-11!

    Posted by Jillian Madison on July 10, 2008

    Head to “participating” 7-Eleven tomorrow for a free Slurpee. The clever bastards in the marketing department decided that since 7-11 is 7-11′s birthday, they’d celebrating by giving out… what else… 7.11 ounces of Slurpee to each US customer. After all, nothing says “Thank you for 81 years of patronage” like a thimble-sized cup of slushy [...]

  • SUPERNANNY DAD KILLS SELF IN KENTUCKY

    SUPERNANNY DAD KILLS SELF IN KENTUCKY

    Posted by Jillian Madison on July 9, 2008

    James Scott Terrill, a 37-year old single father who appeared on ABC’s hit show “Supernanny,” committed suicide on July 4th after an hour-long standoff with police. Terrill called police from his cell phone and told them he was going to shoot himself… and he did. In the chest. At a cemetery. ON HIS FATHER’S GRAVE. [...]

  • TOP 10 THINGS YOU’LL HEAR ON FORENSIC FILES

    TOP 10 THINGS YOU’LL HEAR ON FORENSIC FILES

    Posted by Jillian Madison on July 9, 2008

    Just try and watch an episode of Forensic Files without hearing that dude with the deep voice saying at least 5 of these things: 10. “It had always been a peaceful community – but that all changed one cold November night” What the hell is a “peaceful” community, anyway? Does everybody hold hands and gather [...]

  • Baby Name Ideas For Matthew McConaughey’s New Kid

    Baby Name Ideas For Matthew McConaughey’s New Kid

    Posted by Jillian Madison on July 8, 2008

    Actor Matthew McConaughey and his lovely Latin lady Camila Alves welcomed their first child into the world yesterday in California. Since the bouncing baby boy still remains¬†unnamed, we figured we’d help them out with a few ideas: 1) “Twelve McConaughey” – named after the number of movies Matt has done which went straight to video. [...]

  • RONALD McDONALD ON A SEGWAY: Very, Very Wrong

    RONALD McDONALD ON A SEGWAY: Very, Very Wrong

    Posted by Jillian Madison on July 8, 2008

    Behold this frightening picture of Ronald McDonald at a 4th of July parade in Burien, Washington. Yes, he is on a SEGWAY. After all, nothing says “Happy Fourth” like almost getting run over by a freak with more red lipstick smeared on his face than Courtney Love. Look at his hideous jumpsuit! He looks like [...]

  • Bachelorette DeAnna Chose… JESSE

    Bachelorette DeAnna Chose… JESSE

    Posted by Jillian Madison on July 7, 2008

    Jesse had a borderline panic attack outside the jewelry store before picking out DeAnna’s ring, but pulled it together just in time to deliver the most anti-climactic Bachelorette proposal of all time. Jesse got down on one knee and said, “DeAnna… will you spend forever with me?” She nodded, they kissed, and that was that. [...]