• STARTING NOW: week of 6/16/08

    STARTING NOW: week of 6/16/08

    Posted by Jillian Madison on June 16, 2008

    STARTING NOW: The next time a baby stares up at me and smiles, I don’t want the parent to tell me, “Oh he’s flirting with you!” Please. He’s 4 months old. He doesn’t know if I’m an attractive woman, or a fraggle. . . . . . . STARTING NOW: Paula Deen needs to just [...]

  • STARTING NOW: week of 6/9/08

    STARTING NOW: week of 6/9/08

    Posted by Jillian Madison on June 11, 2008

    STARTING NOW: Manufacturers need to stop putting their advertising stickers on everything. It’s out of control! I just bought a laptop that had more stickers on it than a 12 year old’s Trapper Keeper. Bottom line: If I wanted to handle that much sticky residue, I’d change Ron Jeremy’s bed sheets. . . . . [...]

  • STARTING NOW: week of 6/2/08

    STARTING NOW: week of 6/2/08

    Posted by Jillian Madison on June 3, 2008

    STARTING NOW: If 3 lanes on the highway are closed down for construction, people actually need to be doing some WORK. I’m sick of being stuck in traffic for 2 hours, only to reach the construction site and see a stationary dump truck, a port-o-potty, and 2 fat guys in hard hats sitting on the [...]

  • STARTING NOW: week of 5/26/08

    STARTING NOW: week of 5/26/08

    Posted by Jillian Madison on May 27, 2008

    STARTING NOW: Stores have to stop charging so much for patio furniture! $800 for a table and chairs? Another $500 for an umbrella and base? Are you crazy?In about 3 hours, this table is going to be covered in beer and ketchup, and my fat neighbor is going to be farting in that sling chair. [...]

  • STARTING NOW: week of 5/19/08

    STARTING NOW: week of 5/19/08

    Posted by Jillian Madison on May 20, 2008

    STARTING NOW: Waiters and waitresses have to stop reciting the 20 minute long list of specials. Like I give a shit. If I cared what your chef was doing with his meat tonight, I would have followed him into the mens room. , , , , , . STARTING NOW: Supermarkets have to turn off [...]

  • STARTING NOW: week of 5/12/08

    STARTING NOW: week of 5/12/08

    Posted by Jillian Madison on May 13, 2008

    STARTING NOW: Infomercial salesman “Billy Mays” needs to shut the hell up. If you think his products are going to get that ketchup stain out of your shirt, or make your appliances glow like the kid from American Pie’s dick after sticking it in a gallon of plutonium, you’re an idiot. And if you think [...]

  • STARTING NOW: week of 5/5/08

    STARTING NOW: week of 5/5/08

    Posted by Jillian Madison on May 8, 2008

    STARTING NOW: NO MORE FRUIT FLAVORED WATERS. If I wanted to drink a beverage that tasted like watered down peach schnapps, I’d have Lindsay Lohan take a piss in my Poland Spring. starting now… STARTING NOW: At the end of the day, school teachers have to leave their bossy attitudes in the cubby hole next [...]